« "Hey, turn it up, that's Zeppelin!" | Main | Objective reality...it sucks in Iraq »

November 29, 2005

Wrote a song about it - wanna hear it - here it go!

SCENE: Comfy room with fireplace. Camera crew bustles about, sound tech with boom mike fidgets, gets in position.

Camera tracks to GWBush sitting on edge of wingback chair, getting set up for fireside chat, arranging stuff nearby; glass of (what looks like) water. Quick cut closeups show his outfit: GWB wears bola tie; cowboy boots with L and R on the heels.

Disheveled Floor Manager with headset moves in.

FM: "All set, Mr. President?"

GWB: "You bet. Let me wet my whistle, though... (takes one sip, then a bigger gulp). Ahhhh. Let's roll!"

FM: "Hat?"

GWB: "Right, right!" (puts on Stetson, hanging on chair behind him)

FM: "Guitar?"

(Props person is already there as FM speaks, handing Presidential seal acoustic guitar to GWB. He strums it, settles back on his chair)

GWB: "My. Dog. Has. Fleas! Outstanding tuning job there, Hotrod!"

FM (stepping back): "OK, quiet. And... Lights. Camera. Action!"

GWB: "My fellow Americans..."

(GWB seen through camera's monitor; head & shoulders closeup. Director sits back into chair. Camera pulls back to show rest of GWB, the room, logs burning, etc.)

GWB: "... tonight I'd like to have a little sit-down with you. Some one-on-one, quality-time. So, pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable (adjusting tie) -- we need to talk. It's not you, it's me. Really... heh heh, y'know people always say that, and ever'body's right away all jumpy. (strums minor chord) Bad news! Must be bad news! 9/11! heh heh. Heh.... Same way, same thing, when people start out sayin' to ya: "Y'know, life is funny..."? heh heh heh... And how, y'know, it's never funny for you? when they say that...? Heh..."

(He's gone off the prompter. Caught in headlights look. Searches to find his place; his mouth moves as he reads. Recovers.)

"...but it's all good. Freedom is on the march, and it -- it -- it's a new morning in Amurka. So, get comfortable, and we'll have us a talk about things, and just to set the mood, yeah, calm everybody down during this hectic nine-elevaholiday! season, Laura asked me to set the mood here, with a little song --"

(GWB plays a couple chords, gets happy rhythm going, grins ear to ear, sings:)

"How could you believe me when I say 'I love you'
When you know I been a liar all my life?
I've had that reputation since I was a youth --
You must have been insane to think I'd ever tell the truth..."

(He keeps playing, stuck on one chord, looks troubled, regains his grin, and says:)

GWB: "Then there's... some sorta Bridge, y'know, middle section? and there's a girl singin' the next line:

(sings, falsetto)

'You said I'd have ev'rything, a beautiful diamond ring, a bungalow by the sea...'

"Then the Boy, HE sings: 'You're really naïve to ever believe / A full-of-baloney phoney like me.'"

(Girl voice): 'Say, how about the time you went to Indiana?'

(Boy voice): 'I was lyin', I was down in Alabama!'

(Girl voice): 'You said you had some bid'ness you had to complete?'

(Boy voice): 'What I was doin' -- I really can't repeat....!' (winks; pauses playing). Gooood times. Yeah.

(plays again, with gusto)

"How could you believe me when I say 'I love you'
When you know I been a liar all my life?
When you know I've been a liar -- a good for nothing liar --
all my good for noth - in' life!'" (big finish)

FM: "CUT!"

GWB: "What was wrong with that one, Eyepiece? C'mon...! I got other songs, listen to this one: 'I don't want to set the world on fire...'

bush live at superdome.jpg

Posted by Jeff at November 29, 2005 01:48 PM