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December 21, 2005

Lose weight, or be reduced to dating Black men! Oh, the horror. . .

I spent the past few hours sputtering after Lorraine from Hoarded Ordinaries sent me this story about a New Hampshire doctor who's taken to berating his obese female patients (not male) by painting a picture he considers to be horrific: If you don't lose weight, no man will want you, except for a Black guy, and you know what they're like.

The woman who filed a complaint with the state board of medicine, alleging that Dr. Terry Bennett said she was so fat only a "black guy" might like her, just got the standard version of "Dr. Bennett's diatribe on obesity," Bennett said in an interview yesterday. He said the quote included in her complaint condensed his philosophy and took it out of context.

Bennett, who runs his own family practice in Rochester, said he delivers the same speech to all of his overweight female patients, warning them that not only their health, but their personal lives are at stake if they do not tackle their weight problem. The talk and the logic behind it, according to Bennett, go like this:

Overweight men are much more likely to die than overweight women, so an overweight woman married to an overweight man risks being an early widow. American men "don't like obese women,"Bennett said - except one group: African-American men. But because there's a general dearth of single middle-aged African-American men in New Hampshire, the woman is likely to end up on her own.

"Black men are the only males that don't have a strong anti-obesity preference," he said. "They mostly grow up in fatherless households where they are surrounded by big, loving women, and they talk about fat as sugar."

Bennet insists that the complaints take his comments out of context, and that his assertions are racially based, but factual. He also insists that anyone who doesn't like what he has to say is being racist, and determined to be offended.

"The notion that a black person would find you attractive while a white person of the same age and same gender would not, that's a fact," he said. "If you are going to pick that apart and charge that statement is racist, I subject that you are the racist."

Here. You all be the judge:

In the obesity complaint, Bennett is quoted as saying: "If your husband were to die tomorrow -who would want you? . . . Well, men might want you, but not the types that you want to want you -Might even be a black guy!"

Oh, no! The horror! It's a pity those falling-from-grace/cautionary tales in dimestores aren't still a big thing. Dr. Bennett has missed his calling--he sure would be good at writing them. She had it all, but started gaining weight. Then her husband left her and she was reduced to being with a Black man and living in a housing project!

Bennett insists he's not racist, because he was the physician for the bin Laden family in Saudi Arabia, which is much like the idiots I knew in Japan who went there and insisted that they weren't racist because they knew plenty of Japanese people. Except both nations have their own problems with racism, and to be White in either nation is not nearly the hardship as it is to be Black. Saudi Arabia is not known for its progressive treatment of minorities.

Bennett also insists that this is his typical lecture to "obese females" he sees in his practice. One wonders what he tells obsese men--or does it matter, since looks just aren't that important to women, according to the [pseudo] scientifically-based facts? He chalks it off to women being in "denial" and "looking to be offended," because heaven forbid anyone tell a high-and-mighty doctor that he's coming off as racist and misogynist. If you're not getting the message, the problem is with you, not the messenger, who's so not racist or misogynist at all. It's just you refusing to face facts and being way to eager to be offended. Not the defensive and whiny doctor, who'd rather snivel about how it's everyone else who's being racist, and he's is not racist because the Saudis think he's a swell fella.

But the Rev. Arthur Hilson, a leader in the African-American community in Portsmouth, said Bennett was perpetuating old cultural stereotypes of African Americans, such as the "mammy"image of the "heavyset woman with a bandana wrapped around her head." Moreover, Hilson said, he didn't understand what the place of race was in a question of a woman's weight and her health.

"Black women come in all sizes and shapes, just like white women and Asian women," he said. "If the issue is health and weight, what do black people or black men's preference have to do with health?"

Well, that's it in a nutshell. One would think that a doctor would encourage his obese patients--both women and men--to change their diet and excersize for the sake of their health. What exactly does he say to his obese male patients? Or do they get a free pass from this crap? I hardly see how predicting a future of spinsterhood, or a future of being with "only" Black men, is helping these women. And I don't see how "only" a Black guy wanting you is a bad, horrible thing. I just don't think I would have hit rock bottom if Taye Diggs, or Lenny Kravitz, or Gary Dourdon were to give me the time of day. 

Note to Dr. Bennett: I'm not obese, and I'm not Black, but I found your assertion to be offensive. The onus is on you to make sure you're heard. When you offend the patients you're trying to reach, the problem is yours, not theirs.

Posted by at December 21, 2005 09:20 AM