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January 24, 2006

Lost--Don't Marry A Doctor

Review and spoiler below the flap.

Did the series writers just go on a bender and get their pet geckos to write the last episode? Sheesh.

It wasn't so much the tediously predictable backstory for Jack. I could have told you that a married workaholic doctor with an obsession for fixing people would find himself in the kitchen, listening to his wife tell him that there's someone else and that she's leaving him. Workaholic fixer plus neglected wife equals all too predictable affair and divorce. Sad, tawdry, and rather pathetic.

That marriage was doomed from the start. Lesson: don't marry a workaholic doctor. Bad, bad idea.

I normally like Jack. And I can relate to him (though I'm not a person fixer--I do, however, have an annoying habit of offering advice to people when all they want is someone to vent to). I didn't like him so much this episode.

I understood why he got snippy with Kate and Sawyer--he's jealous and he's hurt because he's got a thing for Kate. But for Hades' sake, suck it up. Sheesh--he's hotter for Ana Lucia, a woman who, like Kate, isn't interested in being fixed. Ana's just more likely to drop kick him when he tries, but that will most likely be his big moment of growth.

So that childish stunt--no, you can't come with us boys, Kate, you're not allowed to play with us anymore!--just got right up my nose. And you knew that Kate would follow them. You knew it because that's what Kate does, and he humilated her.

Going after Michael? I would have had the same urge, but more likely to open up a can of whup-ass for cracking Locke over the head and locking us both in the closet. Jack insisting that it was to rescue Michael was a load of crap--he wanted to control things, and he was feeling pissy. Sawyer went along for payback, and Locke went along out of guilt for showing him where the guns were and how to fire the things. Not only would I have not ended up going to find Micheal, I would have made damn sure that Locke and Sawyer stayed put. Locke because he's probably got a concussion, and Sawyer because he's still sick. Besides, the man's been shot, stabbed, and smacked around enough. And I don't even like Sawyer.

Well, I actually liked him during this episode, which was a shock to me. I normally find him annoying--jeez, drop the unshaven tough-guy angst already--but he was right when he told Kate that he would have done the same thing she did. And I even found myself agreeing with Locke--going after Michael was a stupid idea. Just plain stupid.

Here's where the writing irritated me.

First of all, we don't see Kate get caught. It was just a cheap plot device, and I pretty much expected it in a "oh, if this were a crappy show, they'd bring out a bound and gagged Kate out right about no--OH COME ON!!! COME ON!! GIMME A FREAKIN' BREAK!" way.

Come on. This is Kate, the woman who turned running away, escaping, and evading capture into a high art form. Sure, she could get caught, but I'd like to see how.

And after they free her, Jack, Sawyer, and Locke didn't ask her what the heck happened? What she saw? What she heard? How many people she thought were around her? How she got caught? If they threatened her?? Hello???

These Losties are a strangely incurious bunch.

Now--for the Other. What a snotty jackass. That "you come to OUR island" BS. My first reaction to hearing that was, "Hello, moron, our plane crashed. We don't want to be here. Know a way off the island? And by the way, it isn't nice to drag people off into the jungle, kidnap kids, and kill people. Some hosts you are."

But no. Locke's kind of abashed at the mention of the hatch. Jack gets all macho and in a pissing contest with him--I don't think you've got anything backing you up! Yeah, no kidding. (I think the torches were probably a scam, personally.) He was itching for a fight. A physical fight. Grand. That's just what the unwashed Santa imposter wanted.

Yes, I'd want to open a big ol' can of whup-ass on him and his snivelling band of barefoot twits, but I also would want to win. Which brings me to another thought: what was Jack thinking in going to Ana Lucia about forming an army? He knows nothing about the Others. Not how many there are, how they know their names, if there's a mole in the group, what they are capable of, and what kind of weaponry (military and other, such as the pseudo-scientific ESP stuff) they have.

Maybe some recon. Ya think? Some intelligence-gathering, some stealth. The first thing I thought was, well, damn, he's playing right into their hands. They couldn't, for some reason, get to the fusies that easily. They got Claire, but that was it until Michael, Walt, Jin, and Sawyer left the island via raft. Something--the Island's messed up security system, most likely--kept them at bay. (Yes, I think the whole "The only reason why you're still alive is because we LET you live" was a bunch of malarkey.) What better way to give them the chance to be evil than to oh, I don't know, HAVE ALL OF THE SURVIVORS GO TO THEM IN A WAR? You know, save them the trouble of going through the security system or whatever. Sheesh.

So why not figure out what's going on, what their strengths are, what their weaknesses are, and how best to exploit each?

And here's where the writing gets lazier. Ana Lucia?? Well, he's hot for her. But Sayid is the soldier. And maybe Jack went to Ana because he knows Sayid will tell him that it's a fool's errand, that you've got to do recon, you've got to plan these things, that it's not something they can afford to lose. And maybe Jack went to Ana as a way to spite Kate--I'll let a better girl into the club! So there!

As much as I like Ana, she's not exactly the most well-liked person in the group right now. She killed Shannon, albeit accidentally, and that didn't sit well with people. I think people have to get to know her, get used to her, and learn to trust her before they put their lives on the line on her say-so. Hopefully, she'll tell Jack that it's a fool's errand, but I'm thinking Ana's ready to rumble. She wants to get the kids back.

I liked what Jin and Sun said to each other. Jin told her he didn't like being ordered around. Sun said that she'd spent the past several years being ordered around by him. Touche. And Jin ruefully acknowledged it. It's nice to see them have some difficult conversations, and it was really nice to se Jin defer to Sun and forgo joining the hunting expedition. They really are a nice couple.

Hurley's got a thing for Libby (I loved the "desert island scenario" crack). He said he thought he'd seen her somewhere before. I don't know what it is about her, but she gives me the creeps. Something about her makes me twitch. Maybe it's the way she bit into the witch-hunt against whatshisname--the guy Ana threw into the pit--and then turned on Ana, putting the whole thing on her and accusing her of bad judgement. She seems really manipulative. And, I don't know, watchful or something. I get the feeling she's taking notes. I wonder if she's somehow with Dharma, although it would be dicey that she'd live through a plane crash. Unless it was no ordinary crash, and she knew that. . .

So--I've got some more theories about the island:

It's a Vanilla Sky thing, where everyone enters a collective simulation and works out their issues.

It's a schizophrenic delusion of Hurley's. Hurley is really still in a mental hospital, and Libby is his doctor. She's trying a new treatment to bring him out of it, hence her appearence.

It's Fantasy Island! They all wanted an adventure, and they got it.

Posted by at January 24, 2006 06:19 PM