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March 08, 2006

Ain't no 'moral' about this story!

"I don't pay attention to ads, they don't affect me. I drink what I like." -- guy drinking a Bud Lite, wearing a brand-new Bud Lite cap

I'm a long-suffering (but still easily-amused) veteran of advertising and marketing. Things like this make me spray coffee. You have been warned.

Boston Legal, last night. Political spin-doctor is helping unscrupulous lawyer William Shatner "brand" his client, a guy who electrified his house after multiple burglaries and then bragged about roasting a would-be robber, paralyzing the guy.

And the spin-doctor comes up with: "Here's the American flag banner, of course your client's face will be here instead of Jimmy Stewart's, and this should be behind you every minute you're on camera; Joe Smith: American Homeowner. I used the same font as the 'Mission Accomplished' banner (Americans are comfortable with that font)..."

Media circus ensues. Branding happens. Prosecutor asks the jury candidates what they think, have they heard about this on the news, and one after another they say: "American Homeowner. Protecting his own. I'd do the same thing... American Homeowner..." Case never even goes to trial.

Lesson (ain't no 'moral' about this story!): "There are no facts, not anymore; just good fiction and bad fiction."

Can't tell the art from the life, these days. Maybe artifice is the better word. But anytime I hear spin-doctoring talk, all about fonts, branding, logos, and other buzzword-laden ("proactive!") discussion I flashback to the old days, the agony and the ecstasy, the total absurdity that somehow GOT RESULTS YOU COULD SELL.

Someone poetically-inclined oughta write something like that, y'know, about the entire world is like... a stage. Or something.

Even More Outrageous Spin (warning: for those about to spew):

Microsoft is the hippest hottest poppin'est lockin'est -- getcha groove on, get with the scene, it's hammer time. And other we-couldn't-be-cool-if-we-were-butt-naked-in-Antarctica phrases.

Wal-Mart's Blogging Blunder. Lowering the bar, every day!

The good folks at CENTCOM are trying to get all buddy-buddy with bloggers. You know, web-LOG, like, an online journal diary thingie? Whose hearts and minds are we trying to win, again? "Oh, cool! If I enlist now, I get 3 free downloads from iTunes!"

Posted by Jeff at March 8, 2006 06:53 AM