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March 02, 2006

Lessons from the School of Arrogance

If only Jazz could have related this story to the neocon wingnuttery prior to our invasion of Iraq:

I received a rather telling lesson, however, a few years ago while working with a contractor who had moved here from Pakistan and who was a devout, traditional Muslim. He was a nice guy and quite sharp at his job. About a year after he began working with us, he announced that he was getting married. When we asked who the lucky lady was, he informed us that he didn't know yet - his mother was selecting candidates. Some months later, sure enough, he flew back home and married a woman who he'd never even heard of until he met her in his mother's living room. He brought her back here to live with him in the United States.

Some of the women I work with got a chance to meet her at a lunch one day. This was a rare event, as it seems she hardly ever went out, and was always covered in full dress. She began telling some of the women about the difficulty she and her husband were encountering with her pregnancy (which we didn't even know about) because they were having and extremely hard time finding a doctor for her who would be "acceptable" for them. The doctor would have to be a female, and if at all possible, a Muslim. In Upstate New York, that's no easy feat. She was missing out on what would normally be considered vital, mandatory pre-natal care because her husband couldn't find a doctor who could be allowed to see her in a state of undress.

Two of the women told me that they had determined that something had to be done and she needed to have her eyes opened up. They decided to ask our friend if they could pop in to visit his wife during the day for tea and he agreed. When they returned, they told us the results of their efforts to "Americanize" and "liberate" this woman. With a shocked look on their faces, they informed us that our friend's wife had taken great offense at their suggestions and wound up asking them to leave. She told them to "mind their own business" and warned them strongly not to judge her or her husband's life and beliefs. From a Western perspective, she clearly seemed to be oppressed, possibly even in physical danger because of it. To her way of thinking, she was following the laws of her God and her society and resented any intrusions attempting to "correct" the situation.

What an amazing lesson in humility.

Its not always ours to judge. Going into societies and trying to "fix" them by converting them to democracy or Christianity or other western ideas can be utterly devastating and completely unwanted.

Its not as if history hasn't tried to teach us this lesson in the past. Native Americans here in the continental US and native Hawaiians both have seen much or all of their history and cultural destroyed by people who came in to "tame the savages".

Forcing Iraqis to live in a democratic style of government is no different.

Posted by Carla at March 2, 2006 08:10 AM