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October 16, 2006

God Hates Fags (and Little Amish Girls, Too)

In yet another shocking display, Pastor Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church, which has made headlines over the past year picketing soldiers' funerals (claiming their deaths are America's punishment from God for tolerating homosexuality), have decided to picket the funerals of the five Amish girls killed last week by a mentally disturbed man in Lancaster County, PA. What, you might ask, could Phelps possibly find to celebrate in the deaths of five innocent little girls? After all, there wasn't anything homosexual about it, was there?

Actually, yes there was, but you probably just missed it. You see, Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell has committed "blasphemous sins" against the church by mocking, ridiculing and condemning it on national Fox television. God used the madman to punish the whole state of Pennsylvania for Rendell's horrid rebuke of His chosen people. God's first planned punishment didn't quite turn out as evil as He had hoped, however. The madman was unable to follow through on his plans to rape the little girls because he ran out of time and had to kill himself. Not to worry - the ever-loving Pastor Phelps and his blessed congregation have assured the public that they are "continuing to pray for even worse punishment upon Pennsylvania."

If you are like me, you don't quite understand what can go wrong in a person's head that they will believe in or worship a God who would do such things. That the man has an entire congregation following him around is even more puzzling. But, if his "God Hates Fags" website is correct, the reason I can't understand is because I am not one of God's Elect (the chosen, true followers of Christ). If I was, then I would certainly understand - and probably be kept busy praying for that predicted Pacific tsunami to wipe out the gay-loving Northwest.

Posted by Becky at October 16, 2006 08:19 PM