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May 24, 2007

I'm a Good Girl, I Am!

As I listened to Monica Goodling's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee yesterday, I was absolutely spellbound. I understood her, I understood how she got there, and I understood why she was saying the things she was saying. Sure, I never had a law degree and I never rose to that level of importance, but in many, many ways, I once was her. Some today are making fun of her naiveté and lack of experience, and mimicking her little girl voice. A lot of people are talking about what her testimony means in terms of the culture of the Bush Administration and the Republican Party, as well as how it fits in with allegations of impropriety and lawbreaking. As a former naïve, fervent, right-wing Christian "good girl" myself, I saw something that nobody is really talking about. And I think it is an important piece of the puzzle.

For those who are unaware of my own experience, I will tell my story briefly. I was raised a conservative Christian. I attended private Christian schools from 3rd grade through college. I was a "good girl" who did everything I was supposed to do to the best of my ability. I was not exposed to pop culture and only associated with others of my faith. I was always the valedictorian in my class. I graduated from high school with a 4.0, was elected student body president, was co-editor of my college yearbook, won awards and honors and excelled at everything I set my mind to. From what I understand, Goodling had a background that was similar in many ways.

According to what I gleaned from my upbringing, "good girls" were Republicans. So I was as good and as fervent a Republican as I could be. When we moved to Oregon and started seeing the things Bill Sizemore was doing and how he was being persecuted for it, he became my hero, my idol. When I had the opportunity to work for him, I simply could not refuse. At the time, I had not been a Christian for a few years, but Sizemore, who was a Christian, soon had me back in the fold. Fervently. Because I was a "good girl." I was thrilled to be working alongside a Christian advancing a moral cause that would help people have more freedom and stop the onslaught of immoral liberalism. Goodling says she, too, was driven by the desire to help people.

When I began to notice that things were maybe not so perfect at Oregon Taxpayers United, I was not willing to let go of my illusions and assumed I must just be misunderstanding what I saw. I assumed the people around me were as "good" as I was. Of course, I was very naïve, and not only about others but also about myself. I am betting that Goodling had a very similar experience. I gradually slipped into engaging in activities that were illegal, but to me it felt more like speeding when you know there aren't any police around to give you a ticket, and always it was to advance a worthy cause that I believed in with all my heart, and not for any personal gain. Like Goodling, "I don't believe I intended to commit a crime." I never meant to break the law or hurt anyone – in fact, I was convinced that I was doing just the opposite. As Goodling said yesterday, "I believe I crossed the lines. But I didn't mean to."

Like Goodling, I one day found myself in a position where I was having to take the Fifth and be granted immunity in order to testify. I know exactly what that feels like. I also know exactly what it feels like to realize you're damned lucky you aren't in jail, though a lot of people think you ought to be there, and at the same time to be bewildered because you always thought jail was for "bad" people and you're not one of them.

Unlike Goodling, who I don't believe has had enough time to really think her situation through, I am several years down the road now and have spent a lot of time trying to understand how a "good girl" like me, who only wanted to help people and never meant to break the law, got into the middle of such a huge mess. I think what I've learned is something very important about the conservative Christian culture. I know this applies where women are concerned, and can only assume it also applies to men.

Kohlberg nailed it in his theory of the Stages of Moral Development, which is further described here. Kohlberg doesn't really look at the morality of a person's decisions, but rather at the complexity of the thought process through which a person goes in making moral decisions. The stages of development are as follows:

Level 1. Preconventional Morality

Stage 1 – Obedience and Punishment

The earliest stage of moral development is especially common in young children, but adults are capable of expressing this type of reasoning. At this stage, children see rules as fixed and absolute. Obeying the rules is important because it is a means to avoid punishment.

Stage 2 – Individualism and Exchange

At this stage, children account for individual points of view and judge actions based on how they serve individual needs. In the Heinz dilemma, children argued that the best course of action was whichever best-served Heinz’s needs. Reciprocity is possible, but only if it serves one's own interests.

Level 2. Conventional Morality

Stage 3 – Interpersonal Relationships

Often referred to as the “good boy-good girl” orientation, this stage is focused on living up to social expectations and roles. There is an emphasis on conformity, being ‘nice,’ and consideration of how choices influence relationships.

Stage 4 – Maintaining Social Order

At this stage of moral development, people begin to consider society as a whole when making judgments. The focus is on maintaining law and order by following the rules, doing one’s duty, and respecting authority.

Level 3. Postconventional Morality

Stage 5 – Social Contract and Individual Rights

At this stage, people begin to account for the differing values, opinions, and beliefs of other people. Rules of law are important for maintaining a society, but members of the society should agree upon these standards.

Stage 6 – Universal Principles

Kolhberg’s final level of moral reasoning is based upon universal ethical principles and abstract reasoning. At this stage, people follow these internalized principles of justice, even if they conflict with laws and rules.

I believe that people like Goodling (and formerly myself) are locked in at Stage 3. They are stuck in the "good girl" phase. They do what their peers expect them to do, and often they are rewarded for it. They also know the rules and want to please others. But because their moral reasoning is no more complex than this, they make poor choices when they find conflicts between what the rules say and what their peers want. The overwhelming need in such a position of insecurity is to retain their self-identity – that of a "good girl." So they look to their superiors, do what they are asked to do, and get their reward. This is how they can break the law and still view themselves as being a "good" Christian.

How is it that the brightest and most sincere Christian women are being locked in at the third phase of moral development? Why do we see these women rising all the way into positions as high as Secretary of Defense and yet still being locked into the morally stunted position of honestly having a good girl self-image while at the same time doing very bad things? I think the best answer to that is to look at the final stages through the eyes of fundamentalist Christianity and conservatism.

Stage 4 – Maintaining Social Order

At this stage of moral development, people begin to consider society as a whole when making judgments. The focus is on maintaining law and order by following the rules, doing one’s duty, and respecting authority.

If there is one thing the fundamentalist Christian is taught, it is that they are not "of this world," but rather are members of the "kingdom of Heaven." These Christians associate with each other and eschew their culture and their society as a whole. In my case, I lacked exposure to the movies, television, music, food, and other activities that the rest of my peers enjoyed. When you are that separate from your own society, you never really learn to consider your society as a whole. You follow the rules of God, you do your duty for God, and you respect God. You learn what those things are from the leaders around you and how they interpret the Bible. It becomes very easy for those leaders to lead you into violating the rules of society because you do not see yourself as a part of society. As a good girl, you do what your godly leaders tell you to do. And because of the traditional male-female roles that are taught in fundamentalist Christianity, if you are told to do things by a man, you are even less likely to question things.

Stage 5 – Social Contract and Individual Rights

At this stage, people begin to account for the differing values, opinions, and beliefs of other people. Rules of law are important for maintaining a society, but members of the society should agree upon these standards.

The fundamentalist Christian may reach Stage 4, but will only rarely reach Stage 5 because the values, opinions, and beliefs of non-believers are contrary to the clear, black and white proclamations of God and are never, therefore, valid or worth considering. You are tempting evil if you try to understand sin, and anything that differs from what you believe is God's truth is sin.

Stage 6 – Universal Principles

Kolhberg’s final level of moral reasoning is based upon universal ethical principles and abstract reasoning. At this stage, people follow these internalized principles of justice, even if they conflict with laws and rules.

To the fundamentalist Christian, the only truth is God's truth as expressed in the Bible. There is no need to reason through it or understand it. There is no need to examine a situation to know what feels right. If God says homosexuality is sin, then it will never enter the person's head to consider how the homosexual feels about his ostracism, or his lack of freedom, or his fear. One can be heartless to the homosexual and still view herself as a "good girl." If God says black people bear Ham's curse and are intended to serve others forever, then it does not matter if that person is separated from his family or beaten or has no human rights. One can own a slave and still view herself as a "good girl." If God wants people to have lower taxes so they have more money to take care of their families, if God will take care of his own people, and if only lazy people are receiving government benefits, then it does not matter if cutting taxes takes food away from poor children and the disabled and abused women and liberal-indoctrination centers (a.k.a. public schools). One can "do whatever it takes" to advance a limited tax agenda and still be a "good girl." And if God wants his people in key positions in the government so as to restore godly principles to this Christian nation, then it does not matter if competent and fair attorneys are fired to make way for conservative Republicans who will do the President's bidding. One can break the law by asking political questions of applicants for career appointments and still be a "good girl."

Posted by Becky at May 24, 2007 12:42 PM