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June 26, 2007

12,000 Tragedies

This past weekend at a get-together with some friends I met a fascinating woman who works as a foster parent. As I listened to her share her experiences, both heart warming and heart breaking, I could not help but admire the level of selflessness displayed by those involved in the foster parenting program. At the same time, the problems faced by the children who are placed in foster care are usually so great that despite the best efforts of these amazing adults, the children are destined to carry deep scars into adulthood. And it is a problem that is growing. According to a new report from the State of Oregon, more than 12,000 children were victims of abuse and neglect in Oregon last year – representing a 7% increase from the previous year and growing faster than the population. The primary cause of this increase – half the cases - is substance abuse, including meth.

The state received 60,746 reports -- mostly phone calls -- of suspected child abuse and neglect in 2006, more than a 10 percent increase from 2005. Of the total, 25,606 were referred for investigation. A number of families were the subject of multiple reports.

Seventeen children died as a result of child abuse last year. Fifteen were younger than 5, and two had open cases with the state at the time of their deaths or injuries. In 2005, 18 children died of abuse.

During the 2005 legislative session, strict laws were passed limiting access to cold and allergy drugs containing pseudoephedrine, the key ingredient in meth. That law did not really begin to have an effect until mid-way through last year, and the primary target of the legislation was meth labs. It has been very successful in stopping the Oregon meth labs, but not so much the meth itself. 65% of America's meth now comes from labs in Mexico, as is readily apparent to anyone who has driven around Tijuana in recent years, where massive piles of empty boxes of cold medicine can be seen littering the highways (to be fair, Mexico is working to stop the problem on their end, as well). Since Oregon's crack-down on pseudoephedrine, the purity of seized meth is down and prices have more than doubled. Experts hope this will translate into decreased use. With any luck, that will, in turn, translate into fewer cases of child abuse and neglect. The 2007 Legislature also passed $10 million in new funding for drug treatment for parents who are in danger of losing their children.

The 2007 Legislature has worked with Governor Kulongoski, whose own childhood has inspired him to work particularly hard on behalf of Oregon's children, to pass several bills designed to improve their lives and their chances for success. For instance, one of the bills places children with family members where possible. As my new friend told me, once the relationship with a parent is broken, it is nearly impossible to form that bond again with any other adult. The reason is the parent is supposed to offer a forever-bond. You cannot break a forever-bond with a child and expect that child to believe in forever, ever again. Placing them with an adult with whom they have already bonded – a family member – eases that problem somewhat. A very big THANK YOU to all our legislators who have supported these efforts.

The difficult part, really, is dealing with what is often permanent physical and emotional damage inflicted on these children through neglect and abuse. The woman who shared her experiences with us told of one woman she knows who cares for drug-addicted babies, several at a time, each of whom cries incessantly all day and night. She herself cares for teenagers who are the product of many years of neglect and abuse and she detailed the psychological strain and self-esteem issues they face. It's far worse than simply feeling "different" or "wanting love." These kids deal with psychological and emotional problems that are so severe they require medication. How many of us would be willing to care for such children for 8 hours a day, let alone 24?

My new friend also explained that the long-term psychological impacts of neglect are actually worse than those of abuse. And with drug abuse, neglect is more often the result. She said one girl she cares for was neglected as a very young child and was placed in foster care at the age of two. Yet her sense of insecurity about having her needs met was so ingrained into her psyche that despite many years of never going hungry and of receiving all the care and attention a child should have, this girl, now a teen, still hoards food and behaves as if she needs to take steps to make sure her needs are met in case the adults in her life fail her again. Over the long term, neglected children continue to feel unworthy, isolate themselves, and fail to achieve. They are more likely to be mentally and physically sick throughout their lives. They are more likely to suffer from cancer, heart disease, obesity, diabetes and hypertension. They die earlier and are more depressed throughout their lives. They have a lot of difficulty rolling with the punches of life. But if they are fortunate enough to run into people who are role models for them in dealing with stress appropriately and mentoring them, they do a lot better. That's a role that everyone can play, even if they cannot handle the 24-hour a day job of foster parenting. We all know people who are struggling to make it, and we all can interact positively and sensitively with those individuals.

All human beings have basic needs that you and I can help to meet. These include: caring and love (a demonstration to the person that they matter), physical affection and human contact (hugs, handshakes, pats on the back), respect (showing consideration and recognizing value and independence), moral guidance and discipline (mentoring and supervision), time together (communicating and interacting), encouragement and support (reassurance and praise), listening ears (hearing without judgment), education (preparation for survival in the modern world), nutritious food, appropriate clothing, shelter, safety (a situation in which they can develop trust), supervision (accountability and behavioral guidelines), good hygiene, medical and dental care, adequate rest, and exercise and fresh air.

My new friend said that recently her own mother went to a court hearing with her regarding a particular child's case. She relayed how her mother left the courtroom weeping because the child's case was so heart-wrenching. Only then did the woman realize the degree to which she had become "used" to the horrors of child abuse and neglect after several years of working with so many troubled children.

If you know a child that is not thriving, has difficulty concentrating and learning, has low self-esteem, is withdrawn and depressed, has poor health, is dirty and unkempt, has rotting teeth and chronic bad breath, is always tired, is unusually small for his or her age, is very thin and always hungry, or who steals or hoards food and/or money from others, you should take the time to find out more about what may be going on in that child's life - and in his or her parent's life. If you know an adult who seems not to respect himself or herself, find ways to let that person know they really do matter. I personally could not do what foster parents do. But I know that in my daily interactions with people, countless opportunities present themselves to make a positive difference in someone's life and help to ease their burden and meet their human needs. Though half of abuse and neglect cases are the result of drug abuse, the other half are not. Maybe the parent(s) involved is struggling financially or has health problems. See what you might be able to do to ease their burdens. Each one of us can do something to help lessen the degree of these 12,000 tragedies in Oregon each year and help prevent their becoming 12,000 more tragedies in the next generation.

Posted by Becky at June 26, 2007 10:38 AM