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August 26, 2007

But for the grace of God...

My name is Kevin and I'm an addict.

Nineteen years ago today (8/26/88) I walked into a drug and alcohol rehab facility fresh off of a Meth binge. I was promptly diagnosed as a cocaine/meth addict and spent the next 30 odd days as a patient in their facility, trying to get a handle on what exactly was the problem and what I could do about it.

As The Greatful Dead song says... "what a long, strange trip it's been."

Although I'm not an alcoholic, and could prove it if I had to, I personally found recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous. And there is zero doubt in my mind that I am alive today because of the grace of God that I found through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and demonstrated in the lives of the men and women I found there.

Most particularly I owe a debt of gratitude to three men who shared their experience, strength, hope and unconditional love with me - Jamie, Mick and Clark. They each, in their own way and their own time, gave me the unvarnished thruth when I needed it the most... and wanted to hear it the least. They've taught me that the measure of a person isn't found in how they react to the good times, but how they deal with the rough times.

There are other 12-step groups out there and I've briefly been a member of two of them - Cocaine Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. And I don't wish to disparage either of them. But for me, the recovery that I needed was found in A.A. I am utterly convinced that the only meaningful difference between an addict and an alcoholic, in terms of recovery, is that alcoholic takes three more letters to spell. Other than that it is the same disease, with the same issues and the same solution.

Life is not perfect today, nor am I for that matter. But it is immeasurably better than my best day using. And for that I am deeply grateful.

Posted by Kevin at August 26, 2007 08:25 AM